Elul Reflections

Rosh Hodesh Elul (August 9, 2021)
by Rabbi Mitchell Berkowitz
There were the small disappointments—the books I didn’t read (not enough hours in a COVID workday), the movies I didn’t watch (see previous), the places I didn’t visit (but I know the inside of my house very well). There were the significant disappointments—Shabbat services with empty pews (except the few permitted to make the minyan), seder tables with too few chairs (family and friends who couldn’t attend, some who never will again), birthdays without family and friends (Zoom is really a subpar substitute). I have learned to appreciate these moments as they return. Every book is an opportunity to dive into the world of the words on the page. Every movie is a chance to immerse in its sights and sounds. Every in-person interaction is an encounter with a being created in God’s image. Every celebration is an opportunity to be grateful to God for moments of joy.

2nd of Elul (August 10, 2021)
by Moshe Ben-Lev, Education Director
I have always been an observer. As a Londoner I watched commuters on the Tube during my journey to school. Becoming an education director, I couldn’t believe that I finally was getting paid to observe people! Entering classrooms was a thrill. I would meet with teachers and share my recommendations. During virtual Talmud Torah, I spent hours observing classes. I learned what works well. While at times, my observation has been painful, seeing students and teachers emotionally struggle, I have also seen what home looks like, how something exciting being taught connects, changing moods. I have joyfully watched families in their living rooms, sharing the joys of Shabbat and love for a Judaism that has meaning and relevance in their lives.

3rd of Elul (August 11, 2021)
by Vicki Berman
I have been on the board of a local nonprofit for many years. I feel like I don’t do enough to help raise funds and have missed many opportunities. Always feels like unfinished business that I want and need to complete. A lot of emotional feelings arise when I want to reach out to donors. I feel scared, intimidated, lack of knowledge about the organization, and fear of rejection. I learned from podcasts and books that the donor feels good when they give and to ask what their values are and see if it matches with the organization. Being in Israel these past 2 months gives me space and time to examine my life and myself and find meaning and value in everyday interactions with family, friends and myself.

4th of Elul (August 12, 2021)
by Rabbi Penina Alexander, Associate Education Director
One of my rabbis asked me years ago: What would you do if you were not so afraid? What are you waiting for? Now is not the time to live with our heads down. Now is the time to push ourselves to not only acknowledge our blessings but to be conscious of what may be holding us back. In The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron writes that the negative ideas we have about ourselves have a source. Someone said them to us, and we believed them. She suggests we think of that person who wounded us and tell them, in writing, why they are wrong. We do not need to send this letter; more importantly, we do not need to let their views persist. We can change what we have always believed; we can let go of fear and be the person we know we really are.

5th of Elul (August 13, 2021)
by Netta Asner-Minster, Congregational Shlicha
The past year has taught me to appreciate time with family and friends. When I went to Israel a year ago I had to spend two weeks in a room by myself and only had two weeks afterwards with family and friends, which felt so short after so much time away. Now, after being vaccinated, I was able within 24 hours to see family and friends, and go out to the places I missed and loved. Being in Israel for seven weeks was a blessing that I am extremely appreciative to have received. Now being back, I look forward to more opportunities to see my family here at services, at Shabbat meals, at events. Although the past year was lacking a lot of that, I am excited about the new year ahead and the new opportunities to get together.

6th of Elul (August 14, 2021)
by Judy Saks, Chair of the Adult Education Committee
I used to visit my 86-year-old brother twice a week at his nursing home. But during the past year, I rarely saw him. The COVID epidemic had one unexpected benefit: It offered a break from the stress of dealing with a brother whose mental health issues have wreaked havoc on my life. I feel sad that my brother’s life has spiraled downward despite all efforts to help him. I feel guilty, too, for being spared crippling anxiety. I still take my brother’s frequent phone calls, even at four a.m., and deliver weekly snacks to him. But not having to run interference with the staff or ferry his iPad to the Apple Store has given me a breather. I will carry one lesson into 5782: You don’t have to be selfless all the time. Some of the time will do.

7th of Elul (August 15, 2021)
by Rabbi Jonathan A. Schnitzer, Rabbi Emeritus
As the High Holy Day season approaches, like many of us, I engage in a mental flashback over the past year, now rapidly drawing to a close.  As I do so, the motif of a popular Israeli song keeps reverberating through my mind.  "Al kol eleh-For all these" was written by Naomi Shemer in 1980, a time of ambivalence and uncertainty, with peace remaining an ever-elusive goal. Its refrain-"al ha-mar v'ha-matok-for the bitter and the sweet" seems to me an especially apt metaphor for our own pandemic-era reality.
The bitter:
a virus which has killed over 600,000 Americans and millions worldwide and has upended all of our lives in ways none of us could have ever imagined -
a dysfunctional political system which generates deep polarization on almost every serious issue confronting our society, even threatening our democracy - 
the pain of those who struggle for home, food and employment. 
The sweet:
the emergence of vaccines which offer protection and safety from the ravages of the pandemic - 
the heroic efforts of so many on the front-lines and beyond in sustaining us amid the physical and emotional perils all around us - 
the hugs when a family reunites after a long and difficult separation.
The year of 5781 has been suffused with both the bitter and the sweet, but "Al kol eleh" also reminds us: "Al tishkach et ha-tikvah-don't forget to hope" - surely, a directive of encouragement and positivity that we all need for the New Year ahead.

8th of Elul (August 16, 2021)
by Gabrielle Barke
Looking back on 5781, I think I caused many of my own problems. To be fair, all of that pandemic business was decidedly not my fault. However, my attitude towards my responsibilities resulted in unnecessary stress/symptoms of said stress. I’ve always pushed my friends to value their health over everything else. With the world’s endless array of trolley problems and paradoxes, it’s easy to regard your own health as trivial. Taking care of yourself is just as, if not more, important in a pandemic than it is at any other time. In 5782, I will take my own advice. The year is bound to be stressful, but I am determined to put my well-being over academics. The future is uncertain, but I hope you all take care of yourselves in the years to come.

9th of Elul (August 17, 2021)
by Joey Barke
Today, I turn nineteen. As I reflect on 5781, I look back upon the path I’ve paved, and it is visibly scarred. There are now cracks in the road, and I miss the way it used to look. Perhaps I should just be thankful that I’ve made it this far! Restoring the pavement of our lives to its pre-5781 form is hopeless; there is no replacing what we lost. But what if we were to plant seeds in the cracks? The resulting sprouts would not completely fill these crevices, nor would they fit aesthetically with the surrounding pavement. Nevertheless, they would blossom. Now is the time to sow these seeds. Whether it be a new hobby, relationship, or opportunity, we must sow, so that this year may not be defined by what we lost, but by what we found.

10th of Elul (August 18, 2021)
by Cantor Sarah Bolts
It’s been so sad seeing my 2-year-old, Julia, miss out on things. Two of my closest friends have daughters the same age as Julia. We had looked forward to visiting these friends in New England every summer, and watching our girls grow up together. Now our second summer has passed without a visit, and Julia can’t even remember that she once played with her friends in person. The silver lining is that the girls have met regularly on Zoom throughout the pandemic. So Julia counts Annie and Emily among her friends despite their entirely virtual status, and happily interacts with them online. Our ability to maintain that connection from afar has been a small spark of joy in this strange time. Someday, God willing, we will make it back to New England and Julia can play with her friends in person again. That will be the most joyful day of all.

11th of Elul (August 19, 2021)
by Carol April
As I reflect on the past year and a half, I have much to be thankful for. I retired in January 2020 with plans to read more books, spend more time with my grandkids, do volunteer work and travel. That was not to be. In March, 2020 we were in lockdown. We adjusted as best we could. Daily walks, meditation, buying a Peloton bike, and doing jigsaw puzzles, all to keep me sane. Things started looking up and then life threw me another curve ball. My husband was diagnosed with lymphoma in November, 2020. With amazing care at NIH, along with support and prayers from family and friends, he is now in remission and we are getting back to “normal,” whatever that is in this time of COVID. I have always been a positive and strong women and that definitely has gotten me through the challenges of the past year and a half.

12th of Elul (August 20, 2021)
by Rabbi Michael Safra
I was probably wrong to doubt the commitment and resilience of our B’nai Israel community, but I didn’t think we could do it. When we made the painful decision to close our building and move daily services online last March, I didn’t think people would participate. But more than 25 people attended the first virtual minyan, and attendance remained strong month after month. I don’t think there was a single virtual minyan that lacked the required 10 participants. Of course, a virtual minyan Is not the same as the real thing. Even as people attended online, many expressed their longing for a return to normal gatherings in our sacred spaces. But with Zoom being so convenient, I worried at the beginning of summer when we began to contemplate our daily return to Dweck Sanctuary. Would people come back or was the option of worshipping at home too attractive. Members of our Ritual Committee stepped up to recruit attendees. And, to date at least, we have been going strong. There have been a few days when we’ve had to deal with the disappointment of coming short. But on the whole, morning and evening attendance has been consistent. And the commitment to ensuring the vitality of this important part of our incredible community has been remarkable.

13th of Elul (August 21, 2021)
by Danny Siegel
I recently rediscovered a text (Bava Metzia 83b) about the Olam HaBa: Rabbi Zeira said, “Every Good Person will have his or her appropriate place to live in forever.”  I was terribly disturbed, thinking, “No! No! No!  After months of total and partial isolation, the last thing I would ever want (if I were allowed in) is to live alone for all eternity.” My prayer of hope for the future: The toll from our separation from relatives, friends, acquaintances, and just plain other live, breathing human beings has been overwhelming.  For all the blessings of Zoom and social media, they will never compare to a REAL LIVE hug and kiss. May the “new normal” bring a heightened, amazing awareness of the crucial value of the awesomeness of human contact with friends, relatives, acquaintances — anyone at all. And may all our desires and renewed efforts to be in their presence be fulfilled. Amen!

14th of Elul (August 22, 2021)
by Scott Hodes, President
5781 was a year of stop and go traffic - periods of great movement forward and times one felt that you couldn't see the road ahead because of the wide load trucks blocking the path. At times, I, like everyone, grew frustrated at the slow rate of positive change that I could feel was just beyond the horizon. Amid the chaos, I tried (and hope to continue as we move into 5782) to savor every step of the journey, no matter how difficult that journey may be at times. It’s the small moments on our individual treks that are important. After all, the Torah spends much of its text on our wandering in the desert, times that we still learn from today. Thus, savoring the path taken is truly important - those moments in stop and go traffic - created opportunities to spend time with family, observe the wonders of nature or ponder the greatness of G-d's universe.

15th of Elul (August 23, 2021)
by Steve Kerbel, "Elul in Your Inbox" Coordinator
For me, the one lesson of the last 18 months to take forward is using technology for good, positive interactions. We saw the family more often using Zoom Happy Hours and meet-ups before holidays than we would normally have gotten together as an extended family. We created a WhatsApp group with my siblings, nieces and nephews and their spouses. These small efforts make a big difference in increasing regular, more casual contact with the family. Teaching online is also not going away, even when it’s safe to meet in person. Expanding our classes to other continents (I had students this year in Europe and Asia), gave teachers new opportunities that if we're wise, we'll bring with us in 5782.

16th of Elul (August 24, 2021)
by Fonda Lowe, VP Youth & Education
As it became clear that schools would not reopen in the fall of 2020, Jeff and I realized this would be an opportunity to spend more time with our grandsons. Beginning last September, our youngest grandson Asher attended “Nana/Grandpa Academy.” His big brother Eli joined him one day each week. Here are some of the lessons we learned:
- Grandparenting is more entertaining than parenting
- Playing games and make believe is more important than academics and the results are far superior
- Quiet walks lead to great conversations even with a preschooler. 
On a walk last November just before Asher’s 5^th birthday, he talked about his upcoming celebration and said “Maybe I will wish for the virus to go away or I will wish for a Nintendo Switch.” What a wonderful way to help our children, attain a greater understanding of our grandchildren and be able to guide and bond with them - an amazing year for us all!

17th of Elul (August 25, 2021)
by Robin Wind-Faillace
Approaching the New Year with happiness, sadness, hope. So happy to continue walking, yoga, gardening, cooking. I Zoomed literature, art classes, services at B’nai Israel Congregation, stayed in touch with family and friends. It is great that vaccines were developed to protect us from COVID-19! I was thrilled when our son Gabe visited for his birthday in July for the first time in nineteen months. I was deeply saddened when after struggling for two years, my dear cousin in Brooklyn, NY passed away. I was saddened by the sudden illness and death of our cat Midnight. I began going out to visit people and places, but warnings about the COVID-19 variant Delta brought warranted caution. Alas, I will continue activities online! Hoping for a kinder more peaceful world!

18th of Elul (August 26, 2021)
by Sarah Jarvis, Director of Youth Engagement
In November of this (Jewish) year I got engaged. What was one of the happiest days of my life was also filled with many other mixed emotions. I had always dreamed of my family being there for that special moment, but because of COVID they had to miss it. But it taught me that even if things aren't exactly like you dreamed it doesn't make them any less special and meaningful. It was beautiful to just be in that moment with only my fiancé. It allowed us to only think of each other and soak all of it in. This year has taught me so many lessons but one that I will carry with me forever is that the people you love are always around you even if they can’t physically be there. Wishing everyone a Happy New Year, filled with new and exciting memories.

19th of Elul (August 27, 2021)
by Haidee Bernstein
Perspective on time is funny. Sometimes a second can feel like an eternity and sometimes a day or week can feel like a second. COVID and isolation has made time feel even more warped. Time feels long in between visits to family and friends, yet days pass quickly. I used to hate being stuck in my house for a WHOLE day and now it has been more than a year since I have been comfortable freely going out and doing normal activities. Additionally, I had a major fall on the ice and was in a wheelchair for 7 weeks. I had to learn a new level of patience to receive help on basic life necessities. I had to be conscious of when to make my needs known and when I should be mindful and wait. I have increased my ability to be patient but admittedly it is far from perfect.

20th of Elul (August 28, 2021)
by Helain Landy Dicker
Working in a hospital was never so challenging but didn’t compare to the panic when coming home to loved ones. Clothes taken off in the garage that went right into the washer, wearing a jacket through the house, quickly showering, quarantining while waiting for negative COVID results (twice). Colleagues working as a team as never before, providing ongoing care for our patients and for each other, changing schedules when someone was sick or quarantining, learning Zoom, Teams, and Telehealth. Some relief after getting vaccinated. Blessings when our daughter and fiancé drove from Minnesota spending 4 months with us, and then getting married at B’nai. 5781 brought challenges as well as recognition of what is important.

21st of Elul (August 29, 2021)
by Carren Oler
World Changing Events; Global and Personal
Those twenty or younger, 
History students, hunger to understand 
What they can’t personally remember. 
September 11th 2001 - attacks on 
The World Trade Center, The Pentagon, 
Shanksville, Pennsylvania. 
Aftershocks, grief still linger. 
Anyone who watched/listened, 
They’ll tell you exactly where they were, 
Promising to remember. 
The New Year 5782 approaches, 
Gematria, Jewish numerology, adds digits, 
Equaling 22, together equals 4. 
The secular calendar New Year is 2022, 
Equals 6. And 6+4=10. (1) 
“ONE is our God in Heaven and on Earth.” 
Will we watch, listen, remember? 
Today, August 29th is the 73rd anniversary 
My late parents, A”H, married. 
It’s no homily that our generations remember 
Love, respect, faith, Jewish traditions, 
Transmitted. 7 + 3 = 10. (1) 
“ONE is our God in Heaven and on Earth.” 
Do you promise for what it’s worth 
To honor your families with deeds so 
Their everlasting legacy succeeds?

22nd of Elul (August 30, 2021)
by Wayne Berman
While walking my dog recently, I met a neighbor couple. We would often pass each other and I knew of them, but never really got to know them. While the dog was the conversation starter, we talked about family, careers, COVID-life, and each of our backgrounds. We talked for a long time and found we had lots in common. I was excited that I got to connect with them. After we parted I realized the gift of connecting with and learning more about someone. In 5781, COVID took away many opportunities for connections. My challenge for 5782 is to make the time to talk, connect, and learn more about someone. Often, the people that pass through our lives, and sometimes take for granted, are the most interesting ones to get to know better. Life goes by too fast to not make the time to connect.

23rd of Elul (August 31, 2021)
by Rachel Siegel, Early Childhood Director
As I think back through the past year, I’m extremely proud of what we have accomplished together at our B’nai Israel Schilit Nursery School. We had in person school, all year long, for our children; the future of our community! I keep going back to when I held our first enrolled parent meeting at the end of August 2020. That evening, I was struck by what parents shared they had learned about their child(ren) throughout the earliest part of the pandemic, when the world completely shut down. The list included that their children are happy to entertain themselves; they are resilient; they are good sports; they are very active. They described their children as being master negotiators, performers, singers, readers, and bakers, independent, flexible...I keep going back to this. It was not about ABCs or 123s. It was about play. It was about exploring. It was about developing a love of learning. It was about the social and emotional learning and growth. All of these are ever so important to us as human beings, but also integral parts of early childhood education. It is these lessons, values, and attributes that I hope we hold at the forefront of our minds and hearts as we think and plan about what we want for our community this school year, on today, the very first day of the school year yet again.

24th of Elul (September 1, 2021)
by Heidi Isenberg-Feig
The last time I spent time with my father was in 2012 during our family’s Rosh Hashana celebration in Philadelphia. The day before Yom Kippur, I returned to sit by his bedside with my mother and two sisters in the Neurosurgical ICU. Ten days later, we said goodbye. Despite the grief that consumed us then, I will never forget how blessed I felt by the kindness, strength, and support of our B'nai Israel community. Nine years later, we have all been challenged by the pandemic. But despite the loss and grief, I am grateful for our community and the ways we have found to connect, despite the restrictions that have become part of our daily lives. During this profoundly holy month, I look forward to the time when we can greet each other with smiles that we all can see. Shanah Tovah.

25th of Elul (September 2, 2021)
by Sharon Doner & Barry Nussbaum
We’d been dating and not thinking of living together, but providence brought us to the Game of Commitment! With the unknown looming, we asked, “Should we live together, or do we take a chance and continue shuttling between our two homes?” The world of COVID was scary and we decided to ride it out, blending our two “alte kaker” lives together. Together we’ve watched how the COVID world continues to devastate people in need and people who are alone. We found ourselves not only appreciating that we had each other, but that we had the resources to help others. This Tikkun Olam thread bonded us even closer. Our relationship has deepened as we’ve found new ways to express Gemilut Hasadim.

26th of Elul (September 3, 2021)
by Rabbi Jim Michaels
Over the past two years, I’ve had the privilege to study Zohar. Many Jews can identify this work as the foundation text of Jewish mysticism, but it’s not widely studied. I never had the opportunity when I was in seminary; before I retired, my focus was on other topics. Two years ago, when I learned that an on-line course was available, I decided to dive in. One thing I learned is that Zohar is an ethical text. Not only does it stress the importance of good deeds, it avers that God depends on us to do them. During Elul, knowing that our deeds make a difference can be a great motivator. Knowing we’re partners with God can be a source of joy. In the weeks ahead, as we think about teshuvah, I hope we can focus on the good deeds we can perform better. Partnering with God, we can make the coming year truly joyous.

27th of Elul (September 4, 2021)
by Tom Sudow
Seventeen months ago, ZOOM was the sound of a car racing past or a jet plane taking off, people hurrying to get to where they were going. ZOOM, today, is our way of slowing down and connecting. We have ZOOMed family gatherings and with friends. As the then International President of the Federation of Jewish Men’s Clubs, we went to ZOOM and held over 300 event with over 4,000 different people attending. As an organization and as individuals we have been forced to slowdown and connect. Now, my family ZOOMs every Shabbat and my 99-year-old father has led the Kiddush. It is easy to think about what we have missed during COVID, but it should not be easy to forget the important connections and how, we came closer together. As we enter the New Year, may our lives not zoom by.

28th of Elul (September 5, 2021)
by Peggy Pearlstein
All of my life I lived close to a synagogue. For the past 40 years I have lived across the street from B’nai Israel. I have been an active member and very regular “shul-goer.” With the pandemic, the building closed for everyone’s safety. Although the wonders of Zoom enabled me to attend services, Rabbi Berkowitz’s Talmud class, and many other events, I felt very isolated, most keenly during the High Holydays. The lack of physical contact with others opened my eyes to the beauties of nature around me. The restorative powers of nature helped lessen the feelings of isolation. I just made a dramatic change in my life as a result of the pandemic. Last week I moved into a condo about a mile away from B’nai Israel. Still walkable on a nice Shabbat day. My condo opens onto a lovely patio and garden. I am looking forward to taking care of my trees and flowers. In turn, I know they will sustain me. Just as important, I now have a new community which offers many activities. It is a wonderful opportunity to connect in person with people again. Best of all, several of my new neighbors I already know -- because we are all members of B’nai Israel.

29th of Elul (September 6, 2021)
by Harriet Stein
Hope, "all we need is hope," a line from an old song and a beautiful thought including my eldest daughter’s middle name. For 17 months we have hoped covid would go away. We hoped to be able to resume our “normal “ lives and gradually, we saw some improvement. Now we are hoping again for safer times when all our hopes for reunions of families, friends and community come true. Staying in closer touch with family and friends has definitely been an unexpected blessing. Hope is another word for prayer, it seems to me. May all our prayers for health, love and safety be heard.